I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize