Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
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