I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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