That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
