I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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