im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize