making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
