I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
