Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
She announced her abortion via fbk
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Randomize
