Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
