I feel like I'm in dance class right now
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Randomize
