look no pants
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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