Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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