Your mouth is God's brothel.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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