if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
