just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
