You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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