you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Please don't give away my fajitas
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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