I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
