they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
