She said her name was "party"
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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