apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
