I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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