I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
