Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
