She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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