K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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