The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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