Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
