woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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