Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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