Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
