if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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