Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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