I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize