I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
