i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
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i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
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I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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