Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you would pick up someone in the library
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
