Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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