he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
