So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
