My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
