yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
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All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
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BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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