I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
