fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
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She's never allowed to turn 21 again
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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