How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
