We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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