I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
