That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
