So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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