I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
