are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize