The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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