Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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