Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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