there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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