I CAN MOONWALK!
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
