and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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