Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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