dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
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Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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