you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
