The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
