Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
