fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
