Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
