Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
she was so not down for the gang bang
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The power of my boobs compel you
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
