i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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